Interviews suck. They always fail to get a point across. I'm terrible at organizing my thoughts in person, especially when I'm meant to discuss situations I've never before encountered. Situations that take experience. I don't know much about immunology. I've simply taken a two biology courses with a small section upon the subject. Do I know what I want? NO. I want to do something meaningful, something with molecular biology. But, how am I meant to decide when I've barely touched the surface of the field. The majority of the classes I've taken are chemistry-based. Of course I would be interested in biochemistry, that's essentially all I know. THERE'S SO MUCH MORE OUT THERE. There's immunology, there's genetics, there's biochem, there's neuro for God's sake. I'm supposed to be passionate about a field. I'm only twenty. I have yet to take an upper-division science course. Shit, I have yet to have a BOYFRIEND.
I'm passionate about changing the world in some way. I'm passionate about making a place for myself in history, in scientific literature (upon what, I have no idea). I'm passionate about traveling, about fixing myself, and about caring for others. Shoot, I'm passionate about my oatmeal every morning for breakfast. How the hell am I supposed to convey my passion for science and discoveries in an audible, comprehensive form when I'm in an interview setting. When all I can think about is: "Wow, he just used a lot of terminology that I have yet to learn, and THIS IS SO COOL! I just want this position so bad." He probably thought I was simply interested in inflating my resume, or he must have assumed that I was getting in way over my head.
I was speechless. I was in awe of all that the lab had to offer. I was astounded at the accomplishments of that professor, of my interviewer, of the lab itself and its researchers. I just want to be something. I have no experience, but I want some. Doesn't he realize that? Doesn't he realize that I'm so young, and I have so much ahead of me-- so much to learn, so much to experience?
Yes, it's out of my hands. There's nothing I can do. But what if that next kid walks in, spouts out all of their research about the lab, spouts out exactly what the lab has accomplished so far, tells that interviewer all about the research that the freaking student has yet to participate in. I should have researched more about the topics, but even if I had, what would that do? The guy went on about EVERYTHING that the lab was doing and the prior research the professor had published. I probably wouldn't have gotten one word in edgewise. There may be other opportunities, but what if I want this one? I'm interested in medical research and global health. I want to be a part of that.
How am I supposed to become participate in the scientific community... if nobody wants me?